About a year ago, I was wondering what I was going to do with my life post-MFA. I couldn’t find a job, or an agent for my book, and was seriously considering moving to Austin or Atlanta. I needed a change, or changes, and whatever was happening in Miami wasn’t cutting it. Then I got a job as the creative writing director at an arts school. Then I signed up for a yoga teacher training program. Then I started editing my book like I was on fire, quick, quick, quick.
A year, here I am, again wondering what to do with my life. My school shut down suddenly and unexpectedly. Again I couldn’t find a job. People asked if I was teaching yoga, but I didn’t feel ‘ready.’ I have a (wonderful) agent, but the book hasn’t been picked up (yet). Old patterns of feeling worthless started to arise. I didn’t want to write, or even read. I didn’t want to go to school. I didn’t think I was what a yoga teacher ‘should’ be.
What’s been holding me back is fear. Fear that whatever comes next will get taken away. Fear that I will fail. Fear that the book won’t come out, the students won’t like my class, that I will have to move back home again. I guess the trick is to recognize that fear, and then do it anyway. I demoed for the owner of my yoga studio and started subbing. I began pitching writing classes to places around town. I’m leading my first workshop in June. I’m working on another novel.
I’m doing it anyway. And I’m teaching yoga tonight. And a bunch more in June. And I officially became a Movement Leader. I don’t know much, but I know that I’m tired of telling myself I’m worthless. I’m worth a shit ton, and so are you.
Catch me this evening at OM MOVEMENT at 5:45!
Sign up for my NOVEL WRITING WORKSHOP HERE.